Childhood #1

Saw a little girl of about age 6 with her old grandma in the bus today, travelling from JB to Sg.

I was reminded of my childhood because of her extremely short hair.

When I was young, my mum always gave me extremely short hair that left me looking like a boy, totally. Sloped at the back, above the ears on the sides, with nothing to cover the face at all no matter how the wind blows.

I always envied other girls at school, at how they could have long hair, and have their hair tied nicely into braits, or have different tying patterns, scrunchy, ribbons and clips everyday. At that young age, hair was just about the only thing that I would identify myself as a female. That's why I grew up feeling like a boy. At that time, I had thought that having your mother caring for your hair/appearance everyday meant you're loved. I didn't get any of that cos my mum was busy working all day to keep us fed. I pretty much grew up independently, also feeling unloved. Some of my classmates had their uniforms ironed everyday. I didn't. Cos my mum/grandma said it's not necessary cos we're just kids.

Despite my dismay, I never did defy, nor did I ask my mum for the reason of those extremely short haircut, even till today.

I suppose the only reason is because we were so poor, that my mum intended the most for her dollars, that is, to get the maximum amount of hair chopped for the most worth of her dollars. But then again, I don't recall my sister who's 2 yrs younger had the same treatment.

Not sure if this coincides or tells anything, but I saw some pics of my mum when she was little. She had exactly the same extreme short hair as I did! Here're my guesses:

1. She wanted me to 'share' this special experience of growing up with extreme short hair;
2. She hated what she had been treated to and wanted some sort of 'revenge' on her next generation. That explains why only I got it but not my sis;
3. She did not want me looking too pretty or to start caring for my vanity too early.

Whatever it is, I love my mum.