Lazy Peter

At the cafe after lunch yesterday, we were selecting a seat.

Me: Can we take this table instead? I prefer round table.

Diamond: Why?

Me: Cos it's easier to talk, with everyone facing everyone. If it's a long table, you can only talk to the one in front of you, or at most the person next to you. If it's a round table, everyone can hear everyone. There's no need to turn your head around to the left or the right. Just look up, speak and everyone catches you. I believe that's the reason why people have round tables at wedding dinner right? Easier to take food as well. No need to pass food around.

Diamond: Yes and plus, there's lazy susan.

Me: What the hell is a lazy susan? I didn't know the server has a name! *thinking if it's the person who stands by the table and serve food for everyone*

Angcle: Yea, what's a lazy susan?

Diamond: How can you not know? It's the tray we put on table that rotates.



Angcle: That's called a lazy susan? Are you sure you didn't just make that up?

Me: Yea, trying to cheat us lowly educated.

Diamond: IT IS CALLED A LAZY SUSAN! Ask Bert later when he comes back.

Angcle: I've never heard of it lor... don't bluff.

Me: Me neither. Stop bluffing. And use a better name instead of Susan. 'Susan' is not a cool name.

Bert came back with our order.

Diamond: Do you know what's a lazy susan?

Bert: Err... heard of it before but not too sure.

Diamond: It's the rotating tray we put on dining tables.

Bert: Oh yea yea yea...

Diamond: See? I wasn't lying.

Me: So what is it in mandarin?

Bert: Err... 摆在饭桌上自行旋转的盘。。。

Everyone burst out laughing.

Bert: Or... 饭桌上每人拿到食物的旋转盘。。。

Angcle: So what do you call a conveyor belt?

Diamond: maybe lazy peter, or lazy mark or something. Start advocating and it'll become true.

Bert: Yea yea... start using it to your friends and when they ask what's a lazy peter you say "YOU DUNNO WHAT'S A LAZY PETER??? IT'S THE CONVEYOR BELT LAR!!! LIKE LAZY SUSAN." I'm sure they'll be convinced.

Angcle: When everyone is using the term and you'll know you're famous.

Me: Translate that into a Mandarin term so it'll be famous amongst the non-English speaking population as well.

While everyone was waiting for Bert to come up with another crappy mandarin translation...

Bert: It already has a name. It's called 食物输送带.

Us: =__="

Me: Do you know what a la-Z-boy (pronounced 'lazy boy') is?

Diamond: no, what's that?

Me: You watched Friends, it's the recliner that Chandler and Joey own. The one where you press a button and it'll recline and the leg rest outstretched.

Bert: Do you know what's a fat boy？

Me: Err... *looking around trying to spot a fat boy*

Bert: It's one of the atomic bombs that was dropped in Japan at WWII.

Me：Yea yea, and the other one happened to have the same name as you.

Bert: What?

Me: Little man.